Coming Home to Self-The Evolution of My Self-Portraiture

The first time I turned my camera around onto myself was ten years ago. I had no idea of what I was doing or why I was doing it. Hindsight tells me I was going through a challenging time in my life and was looking for ways to express and process my feelings. I remember the need to express myself through self-portraiture feeling urgent and persistent. The usual things most photographers thought about before shooting, like time of day, lighting, weather, and pre-planning, did not cross my mind—the need to create something overpowered and trumped all. 

In the beginning, I made self-portraits to express emotions based on my feelings. I made self-portraits to feel seen and witnessed because I felt invisible. I made self-portraits to give myself a voice because I felt unheard. As time went on, my work began to evolve. I moved through and past emotion and explored storytelling. I started telling my story through self-portraiture but in an anonymous way. From there, it has evolved into what you see today. It is ever-changing, just as we are. It is boundless. Most importantly, it is a part of me. 

Self-portrait taken with my Lensbaby Velvet 56

Self-portraiture has become a tool I use to deepen my practice of self-love and self-discovery, and it has had a ripple effect on me. What do I mean by this? When I first began, I was driven by instinct—creating made me feel empowered. I didn't realize the importance of spending time with myself and was more focused on the resulting self-expression. Now, the process of creating is of vital importance to me and extends past creating self-portraits. It begins with nourishing my mind and body, and I meditate and move my body daily. I journal each morning and pull a daily tarot card asking myself- What do I need to know for my creativity today? Self-portraiture taught me how to love myself. It taught me to nurture and forgive myself. It lit a desire in me to care for myself and set a better example for my children. It made me realize the importance of putting my oxygen mask on first before helping others. It has encouraged me to look deeper inside myself and question and explore who I am and who I want to be.

My self-portraiture acts as a visual diary, but one written in code. It's pieces of me, clues, and insights into what was occurring during that time in my life when I made each self-portrait. While they may not read like a diary to the viewer, I can piece them together and remember intimate details about each one. I know what I was doing that day and how I was feeling. As a teenager, I made up a secret written language of symbols and filled a diary with it. I could read the symbols fluently. Now, I use both personal and universal symbolism throughout my work. The meaning something has for me might be completely different from what it means to you, the viewer. We see something and connect to it in personal ways. That's the beauty of art!

Velvet 56

 My favorite tools for my work are Lensbaby lenses and optics. They help me to slow down, be more present in the moment, and visualize things more creatively. Self-portraiture combined with Lensbaby products has challenged me and activated and super-charged my creativity in a way that nothing else has. These lenses emphasize the beauty of imperfections. They break the rules and molds and allow you to dream big and wild. I cannot think of a better tool for self-expression and freedom in your art. Using Lensbaby lenses for my self-portraiture has been a coming home to self. It is life-changing. 

You can save 10% on Lensbaby purchases with the discount code wsharon at checkout!

Velvet 56

Creating Self-Portraits Using a Long Exposure

In 2016, I found myself in the throes of an identity crisis. Self-portraiture was a tool I began using as a form of healing and self-expression during this difficult time. I was looking for ways to express myself in a way that was unique to me. Through much experimentation, I introduced long exposures into my self-portraiture work. Feeling invisible, I created my "See Me" project as a way to be seen essentially. "See Me" is an ongoing project where I continue to make these past and present stories and versions of myself.

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Creating these long exposures became an integral part of my healing process. I developed this relationship with time and these in-between moments. Knowing that my thoughts, feelings, breath, heartbeat, movement, and life were captured in an image intrigued me. I was drawn to this in-between space where I could reveal pieces of my personal story that felt just as haunted as I did. I was able to step outside of myself and witness myself with fresh eyes. As the exposure time lengthened, I discovered I could create an image with two versions of me; much like the results that a double exposure could produce. This allowed me to see myself as another person and give her the love and forgiveness she longed for. In the end, this project has been an aid in the practice of self-love and self-discovery.

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The below image is the newest edition to the series. This is a self-portrait I took in my backyard using a 10-second shutter speed and my Lensbaby Velvet 56.
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Sony a7riii | Velvet 56 | f/16 | ISO 50 | SS 10s

You can view the series here on my website under ‘Projects’ or in the July/August 2021 issue of Shadow & Light Magazine, The Surreal Issue.

If you’re a member of the Click Community, I have a tutorial explaining my process for this. If you have any questions about my process, let me know!

The Importance of Play for Creativity

I've recently had a spark of creativity that has resulted in a new way of creating for me. I've been breathing new life and meaning into self-portraits I have already made. It began with taking a print of a recent self-portrait and poking holes in it. I needed pins and needles of various sizes and some cork board to put behind the printed photo. This technique is something I have wanted to try for years but never took the first step. Next, I found a light to shine behind the print and used my camera to take a picture of the altered print. This was the result.

Another thing I tried was using gold leaf paint. When I shared this next self-portrait on social media, several people thought I had used some type of overlay in Photoshop to achieve this look. Again, this was a print of an older self-portrait I had. I splattered gold leaf paint on top of the print and then photographed the print using my Lensbaby Velvet 56.

For this last one, I used a 2.5-gallon fish tank. I took the printed photograph, submerged it into the tank, and shook the tank to create movement in the water. Then, I took a picture of the picture.

Many viewers assumed my end results were all achieved in Photoshop. The process of making these felt important and therapeutic for me. I wasn't sure how they would turn out and was intrigued by the fact that these photographs would be forever altered and have new meaning. There was a quality of permanence to them that they didn't have before.

As a Lensbaby Ambassador, I can save you 10% off your Lensbaby regular-priced purchase by using the code wsharon. As a Click Pro Ambassador, I can save you $15.00 off of your Click Pro application by clicking here to apply and using code sharoncovert.